The First 40 Days: A Sacred Window Into Postpartum Healing

There’s something quietly powerful about the early days after giving birth. They are tender. Raw. Sacred. Yet in today’s fast-paced world, they’re often rushed through, overlooked, or even dismissed.

Before I became a doula, I didn’t fully understand just how important those first 40 days were—for both mother and baby. I learned it later, through my own experience and through my studies. I wish I had known it sooner. I wish someone had told me:
“You matter. This time matters. Slow down.”

One of the most transformative things I came across in my journey was a book called The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother by Heng Ou. It gently invites us to look at postpartum not as an afterthought, but as a sacred rite of passage.

Why the First 40 Days Matter

In many traditional cultures, the postpartum period is a time of deep rest, nourishment, and care. Heng Ou describes it beautifully:

“The ‘first 40 days’ is sometimes referred to as zuo yuezi, which means ‘sitting the month.’ During this time, mothers are traditionally cared for by family and community—staying warm, eating healing foods, and avoiding physical exertion. This practice isn’t unique to China; similar customs exist across Latin America (la cuarentena), India, the Middle East, and Africa.”
(Ou et al., 2016)

In Turkey, where I come from, we also hold this time sacred. The baby is not taken outside for 40 days. In some families, even a bath is delayed until the 40th day. There is a quiet understanding that both baby and mother need protection, softness, and time to adjust to their new life.

Looking back, I wish I had honoured that. I remember taking my baby into the centre of London—Oxford Circus—on the 10th day after birth. I thought I was doing the right thing by “getting back to normal.” I was proud of myself. But it wasn’t normal. It felt like too much, too soon. I didn’t know how to listen to my body—or even that I could. It was painful. And it wasn’t just physical—it was deeply emotional, too.

Modern Society Forgets the Mother

Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost this wisdom.

Today, mothers are expected to “bounce back” quickly. The focus is on the baby, while the mother quietly disappears into responsibility, exhaustion, and pressure. Visitors come. Expectations rise. And in the noise of it all, the mother’s needs are forgotten.

We begin to ask:
Why is the baby crying?
Why isn’t she feeding?

But rarely do we pause to ask:
How is the mother?
Is she eating? Is she sleeping? Is she being held?

This silence is loud. And it’s not okay.

The truth is, babies feel everything their mothers feel. The postpartum experience isn’t separate from the baby’s well-being—it’s deeply intertwined.

Research supports this too—when a mother is supported and emotionally cared for, her baby thrives. Her healing benefits the whole family.

“When mothers are supported, their emotional wellbeing improves, which has lasting effects on infant development and bonding.”
(Balaji et al., 2007; WHO, 2013)

How to Care for Yourself in the First 40 Days

You deserve to rest. You deserve to heal. You deserve to be nourished and seen.
These are not luxuries—they are your birthright.

Here are some gentle ways to honour this sacred window:

1. Let Yourself Slow Down
You don’t have to rush back into anything. Rest is medicine. Healing takes time, and your body has done something extraordinary. Allow yourself to retreat. To just be.

2. Nourish Your Body With Warm, Healing Foods
The book The First Forty Days offers beautiful recipes—soups, broths, teas, and gentle meals designed to support milk production, digestion, and emotional balance.
Think soft, warm, comforting. In many cultures, cold or raw foods are avoided during this time to protect the body’s energy.

3. Accept Help
You are not meant to do this alone. Let others cook, clean, hold the baby, or simply sit with you. Receiving support is not weakness—it’s wisdom.

4. Create a Calm Environment
Limit visitors if you need to. Ask for quiet. Protect your space. You’re not just caring for a baby—you’re being reborn too. You need softness.

5. Let Yourself Feel
Tears, joy, overwhelm, fear—it’s all part of the journey. Don’t push it down. Let it move through you. If you feel alone, speak to someone. Talk to a friend, a postpartum group, or a therapist. You are never alone.

When Mothers Heal, The World Heals

There’s a beautiful saying that resonates deeply with me:
“When you heal the mother, you heal the Earth.”

When we protect and nourish mothers, we protect and nourish the future.
Because mothers shape children, and children shape the world.

You deserve to feel held—not just by the people around you, but by the deeper knowing that this time is meant to be sacred. That your well-being matters just as much as your baby’s.

If you’re reading this as a new mother or a mother-to-be:
Let this be your reminder.

You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to ask for help.
You are allowed to take this time slowly, softly, sacredly.

Get the Support You Deserve

You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are sacred.

The first 40 days are not a pause before life begins again—
They are life.

If you’re preparing for your postpartum journey or already navigating it,
let me walk beside you as your doula.

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